


Prince Investigations

by drjanetwatson



Category: DCU, Wonder Woman (Comics)
Genre: AU, Gen, Mystery, Private Investigators
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4481543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drjanetwatson/pseuds/drjanetwatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diana can't go home until she finds and kills every last monster that escaped the Underworld. So she goes to Man's World and becomes a private eye. Very much non-comics compliant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone, this is a quick start that I wanted to do to get off my chest, and work from there. I hope you all enjoy, and please let me know if Diana's private eye biz in the City of Angels sounds like your jam.

Diana Prince found the surname she had been given to be a little ridiculous. Granted, she hadn't picked it out. Even if the typically male title now adorned her name, she had to say, Prince Investigations had an excellent ring to it.

The hot Los Angeles sun beat down on Diana as she walked across the courtyard to her office. A former motel, the complex was arranged in various units surrounding the central courtyard. As she had understood it, there used to be a pool in the center of the courtyard, but it had since been renovated into a garden of plants hardy enough to survive the triple digit weather.

Having lived in the tropics for most of her life, Diana didn't mind the heat. The jacket she wore over her top was a prolonged "middle finger" to the heat, as Melanie would put it. She strode across the courtyard, hand diving into her jacket to find her keys.

She found the door to her office unlocked. Mel was already there. She opened the door, and saw Melanie sitting behind the desk that she helmed for her assistant's work. "Hey, Diana, do you know what today is?"

Diana paused a long moment. Melanie's deeply tanned skin was warm in the morning light, though her smile was false. She wore a tank top emblazoned with The Grateful Dead and a skull. Diana found the little joke humorous. 

"It's Friday, Melanie, I know. I am sorry. The check from the Baxter case should be coming today."

Melanie relaxed back in the office chair, and she shrugged. "It's cool. I wasn't actually trying to nag about the checks. I knew what I was getting into when I took the job. No, I'm talking about it being the fifth. Which means..."

Diana groaned. "It means I most likely will be getting a visit from Detective Trevor. Spare me, Hera."

"Oh, come on, Trevor's a real dreamboat." Melanie waggled her eyebrows. "That blond hair, athletic body..."

"Do not remind me." Diana tossed her keys on to the unoccupied desk, then she fell backwards onto the couch. It squeaked a little under her.

Melanie grabbed her iced coffee and took a sip. "Besides, the cops bring reliable checks, interesting cases, and we need to pay rent. Trevor's about the best thing that can happen to us right now."

Diana closed her eyes for a long moment. "I would rather sit in the heat and take pictures of philandering spouses." She said, and she almost meant it.

A year ago, she had been living on Themyscira, like she had for her entire life. What had set her on this course was, well, what some would deem a foolish action. Honestly, how had she known that some of Hades' worst monsters lived in a prison set under Themyscira's grand temple? It seemed like something a poet would do for sake of narrative convenience. Diana had accidentally released some of those monsters, weakening the barrier between this world and the world of the gods.

Mother had not been pleased. An Amazon must always be responsible for their actions, and in doing so, she was tasked hunt and neutralize each of the escapees from Tartarus before she could return to take her rightful place at Hippolyta's side. There had only been one place for those monsters to escape to: Man's World.

The only lead that Diana had gotten was that many of them had journeyed to the republic of America. So she had come to Los Angeles, where the barrier between worlds seemed thinnest. For whatever reason, Hades had placed one of his other main entrances to the Underworld in Los Angeles. Only he knew why.

Diana had arrived in Los Angeles with little to her name beyond enough money to establish herself in Man's World. So far, none of the monsters that had escaped had presented themselves. But Diana had to remain vigilant. Bills still needed to be paid, though, and working as a private investigator was the closest thing she had to being a present-day hunter.

She was brought out of her reverie by Melanie slurping on the remains of her coffee. "Barbaros," Diana hissed.

"What did you call me?"

"Barbarian." Diana clarified. "Did your mother teach you no manners?"

"I am desperately in need of more coffee." Melanie said. "It's too early to do this."

Diana looked over at Melanie. "You could try jogging. It helps me wake up."

Melanie propped her chin on one hand, appearing as if she was trying to study the alien creature that was her boss. "Words hurt, you know."

Diana shrugged. "To each one's own. Do we have any appointments today?"

"Nope." Melanie said. "I think you should call Trevor."

"I am NOT calling Detective Trevor."

A familiar, bright voice spoke from the opening door. "But Miss Prince, I love the sound of your voice. I've even got a ringtone especially for you."  
Diana stared daggers at Melanie for a half-second, long enough for her to be sure that she could look back at the door. Walking in was Stephanie Trevor, looking all the world like a mortal representation of justice. She was tall and strong, with an athletic build from hours clocked in at the police gym. She wore a red blouse and black slacks, gun resting on her hip and cuffs tucked away on her belt.

"Inspector Trevor, do come in." Diana stood up, dusting imaginary dirt off herself. "How can we assist you?"

Trevor smiled crookedly, her severe face broken in mirth. "Did I interrupt something?" She asked.

"Not at all," Melanie said, piping up. "In fact, Diana has her entire day open. She's got an open docket. We just wrapped up our current case today."

"Fantastic," Trevor looked to Melanie, then Diana. "I've got a body for you to look at."

Diana quirked her head to one side. "What makes you think that it falls in my...purview?" She asked.

"Well, I don't know, Miss Prince," Trevor said. "How about a body that was literally cut in half?"

That certainly had Diana's attention.


	2. Ferryman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A murder scene, a corpse, and an unexpected cab driver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, here is chapter two, along with a rating nudge, for future violence and possibly romantics. Enjoy!

Diana sat in the passenger’s seat of Trevor’s department-issued car, watching the sights of Los Angeles pass by her windows. Whatever could cut a human being in half was in no way benevolent, and generally not mortal. She pondered for a moment that humanity wasn’t ready for this. They weren’t ready to have monsters living with them. It wasn’t a time of kings, gods, and heroes. It was a time of technology, conglomerates, and the rejection of faith.

Not that Diana was particularly faithful. She knew the gods existed as actual beings, but she found it hard to have faith in them. They were distant, disinterested in most of humanity. The reality of it was that humanity did not need the gods any more. But now, she was needed because humanity was haunted by the specter of a past where the gods would rather lock away their mistakes than destroy them.  
Trevor’s commanding contralto roused her from her thoughts. “Penny for your thoughts, Prince?”

She turned to Trevor, who might have looked like an actress with her aviator sunglasses on, complimenting the rolled up sleeves of her blouse. She had a small smile on her face, as if she was satisfied with herself. She reminded Diana all too well of a sated predator.

“At my hourly rates, Detective, you’re paying much more than a penny for my thoughts.” Diana said.

Trevor thought about that for a moment. “Point taken. Continue.”

Diana considered a moment how to phrase this. “While I respect your work, Detective Trevor, I think you are out of your league.”

As the car stopped at a red light, Trevor looked at her and paused. “Pardon me?” She asked.

“Simply put,” Diana said. “I do not believe that something that can cut a human being in half would be something that the LAPD would be capable of handling.”

Trevor paused a moment. “While maybe not our usual expertise, I’m willing to learn, Miss Prince.”

“Diana,” She said, after a moment. “Call me Diana, Detective Trevor.”

She smiled a little. “I don’t know, I like Prince. Maybe Princess.” Trevor’s smile grew, and Diana realized then that she wasn’t going to let up with this.

The car pulled up to the front of a house, which Diana was sure had seen better days. It appeared abandoned, with one of the windows completely shattered. A ring of police vehicles surrounded the driveway of the house, lights on and blinking even in the mid-day sun.

They stepped out of the car and out into the oppressive summer heat. Diana looked over the scene of cops standing in the shade of the house. The two women strolled towards the house, with Trevor flashing her badge to the uniformed officer standing near the door.

“This is Diana Prince. She’s a consultant.” She said as a way of vetting for the other officers. There was a pause before the uniformed officer opened the door. Trevor nodded, as a means of thanks, before they entered the house.

The rancid smell of blood and other bodily products were in the air. Diana restrained any reaction, and she thanked Hippolyta’s training for that.  
They turned left into what had once been a living room, by Diana’s best guess. Now, it was void of furniture, left vacant except for the people standing and squatting around the body.

Diana had wondered how specific Trevor had been when she had said the body had been cut in half. And she now knew that Trevor had described it in perfect detail.

Diana had been expecting maybe being cut at the waist. But it was a diagonal cut, starting at one hip and rising to the breast on the other side. The poor boy had not stood a chance.

There was a silence in the air, and Trevor looked to Diana. “You alright, Princess?”

Diana slowly walked to the body, and she crouched down next to the boy. Boy did seem to be the most appropriate descriptor. He was barely twenty, if that. He had tanned skin, not an uncommon thing in this region, but what did interest her was his right arm. On his bicep, there was a tattoo of an anvil. Immediately, Diana started to do the calculations in her head.

“Trevor, a moment?”

Trevor paused a moment. “Clear the room,” She said. “You vultures all got what you want. Time for the consultant to earn her rate.”

There was some mumblings, but after a minute the cops left. Trevor squatted next to her, and slipped on some latex gloves. “Talk to me, Princess.”

“Our victim most likely was a member of a cult of Hephaestus.” She said, gesturing to the anvil.

“God of the Forge?” She furrowed her brow. “He doesn’t look real black-smithy.”

Diana considered. “Hephaestus represents crafters of many trades. He does not just see over the smiths of metal.”

“So, what can cut a person like this?” She asked.

Diana shook her head. “Many things. But I am not sure what. An enchanted blade, like one of Hephaestus’s, could do it."

“So you’re tossing me a hypothesis of a guy gutted on his own sword?” Trevor asked.

Diana shrugged. “It could be a dispute in the cult. Hephaestus is not the only one with such a blade.”

Trevor sighed. “How many people could you take a guess at could do this?”

Diana shrugged. “The modern incarnations of the gods do not have as many followers as they once did. Finding their cults will not be easy.”

“I’d like you to start looking into it. If you do find anything, I’d like to be in on it.” Trevor said.

Diana nodded. “Very well. May I take a picture of the victim?” At Trevor’s nod, Diana took out her phone. She lined up the camera to frame the face of the victim. In death, his square jaw and rough features made him appear almost stony, like he had been carved from a tan rock and made to resemble human. She snapped the picture, and it registered with a little flash. “Do you have a name?”

“Not yet. We’ll run his prints, see what turn up in ASIF.”

“Thank you, all I ask is you keep me informed from your end, and I will report my discoveries.” Diana said. “I will call a cab and I will see what I can dig up.”

“Thanks, Princess.” Trevor flashed her a grin, and Diana suffered in silence. She headed outside and dialed up a cab company, who told her she would have to wait ten minutes.

She waited outside the ring of police activity. The midday Los Angeles heat beat down on her. She pulled out a pair of sunglasses from her jacket and slid them on. She waited, calm and silent as the medical examiner removed the two halves of the body for transport.

The cab arrived in twelve minutes. Diana slid into the back and gave the driver her address. She felt cooler in the cab as she entered, though something about it seemed off.

It wasn’t until they were five minutes into the drive that Diana realized not a single fan was on in the car and the air conditioning wasn’t active.

Her sword was at the back of the driver’s seat in an instant. A low, easy voice responded. “Diana, Diana, please. We don’t need the sword here. Let your Uncle Hades explain.”

“You are not my Uncle.” She hissed.

“Everyone’s got Death in the family.” The Lord of the Dead wore an Angels jersey, mostly unbuttoned to reveal pale pecs. “Diana, you are my guest in this cab. I offer you hospitality and protection.”

Diana relaxed a little, and put away her blade. She didn’t necessarily trust Hades, but she did trust his hospitality. “Speak your peace, Lord Hades.”

“Your mother taught you manners, I like that.” Hades smiled widely. “I’ll be frank. I’m not usually the type for quests, heroics, and nobility. I prefer to just let life take its course, and I mop up afterwards. But I have something I need you to do for me, Diana.”

A request from the Lord of the Underworld? That was surprising in itself. “What do you need of me?” She asked him.

“Tied up in all this mess is a boy. He is young, only twenty-one. He is my grandson, and he is lost. I desperately want to see him found.”

Diana was now incredibly confused. “Lord Hades, your grandson?” She didn’t think the gods got around much these days.

“His mother was one of mine, and Persephone’s.” He let what that meant hang in the air for a long moment. If he was a natural child of two gods, that meant their grandson was a demigod. Oh, Hades. “Don’t use my name in vain, Wonder Girl.”

“Pardon?” She tilted her head a little.

“You remind me of a hero, Diana, one who came around a long time before you did. Forget it.” He shrugged. “Ride’s on me. Just promise you’ll do what you can for my grandson.”

Diana nodded. “For you and Persephone. I can think of no couple I would rather see happy.” She meant it too.

This just got curioser, and curioser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not exactly James Woods Hades, but not exactly not? Hope you enjoyed, stay tuned, and please leave some juicy comments!

**Author's Note:**

> A bifurcated body, dashing detective, and marvelous mysteries. Stay tuned, and as always, feedback is welcome!


End file.
